Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
