Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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