They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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