i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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