It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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