How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
