How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
