Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
