so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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