I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
