she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
