yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
