i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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