dude i'm inner monologue high
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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