I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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