so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
