Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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