so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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