I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
