I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
