porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
