let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
