I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize