I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
