are you so shy because you have an std?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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