Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
