he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
