So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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