His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
