lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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