i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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