I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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