Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
