dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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