if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize