me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I did not marry a roomba.
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