do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize