Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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