She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just google imaged poop.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
