yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
