that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
