question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
