You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
