I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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