Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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