I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
