i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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