"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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