Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
