so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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