she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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