Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
