My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
