He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.