you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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