some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men