i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Use "feeling words"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.