it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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