He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
