I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize