Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
