I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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