final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
