Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You work out of a Hotel?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
