i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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