I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
