I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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