you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
