That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
